Resilience: What is it and how can I get it?

Resilience is the ability to handle hardships in life. How can you build resiliency?

Resilience is the ability to handle hardships in life. People who are resilient are more capable of handling adversity than people who are not resilient. Life can throw us challenges at any given time, but have you wondered why some people seem to handle them easily while others seem to fall apart?

Resilience?

Resilient people are able to use their skills and strengths to handle whatever challenges come their way.

Bad grades. Death of a pet. Relationship break up. Late assignments.

All of these can make some teens get too frustrated to continue and just give up. Others might make excuses and blame others for the problems.

But not those with resilience. They are able to tackle these problems and find a way to turn things around.

That doesn’t mean they don’t get affected by the problems. They still feel angry, sad, anxious, or frustrated just like everyone else. But they can pick up the pieces and move forward.

They often use these as growing experiences and come out stronger than they were before.

What happens without resilience?

If people are not resilient, they might become overwhelmed and use poor coping mechanisms to face problems. These can be simply ineffective or they can be outright dangerous.

Examples of unhealthy or self destructive behaviors

Self-medicating with alcohol or other drugs to “feel better” is one such dangerous coping mechanism.

Cutting and other self harm methods are also serious risks when a person is not able to find appropriate coping skills.

Some teens just stop studying and give up on trying to get good grades.

Others might try to “get even” after a break up by spreading rumors.

Many are unable to accept responsibility for actions, so might blame the teacher for not teaching well enough instead of finding ways to learn the material.

You get the picture and can imagine how destructive some of these choices can be, right?

Don’t they worry?

People who are resilient are normal people.

They still have typical worries and stress. Problems still get them down and make them sad or angry. They get frustrated just like everyone else.

It’s how they handle the stress and challenges that sets them apart.

People with resilience look at the situation and problem solve. Instead of avoiding the problem (which may make it grow) they look for solutions. They don’t look for excuses, they look for ways to self improve or fix whatever is wrong. They pick up the pieces and move on.

Being resilient doesn’t mean they don’t get upset, it simply means they keep going.

How do you build resilience?
How do you build resilience?

How can we become resilient?

(Edited after our meeting to include things you can do.)

How to Get a Growth Mindset

Learn the power of “Yet”

Self Confidence Booster series (see the other posts linked within)

Celebrate ADHD

Watch out for Rejection Sensitivity

From the original version:

Some people seem to just naturally have the traits that make them resilient, but we can all learn resiliency. The first ADHDKCTeen event will be all about building resilience.

See the ADHDKCTeen Event Page for more information about the ADHDKCTeen event and RSVP here.

If you’re interested but can’t make it, go to the RSVP page – there’s a spot for you!

Both RSVPs will get you signed up for ADHDKCTeen member’s only benefits!

After each of our events we’ll post a summary and sometimes even a video of the night for our members to view. You must RSVP to have access to this members-only benefit!

Learn to build resilience at the September 2018 ADHDKCTeen meeting.
Learn how to build resilience at our first meeting. See you September 4th!

Author: Kristen

Dr. Kristen Stuppy is a pediatrician who is passionate about sharing information to help others make informed decisions. She has a special interest in ADHD and has served on the board for ADHDKC.org since it began in 2012.

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